After a weekend that consisted of a lot of wine and even more drunk texting, I thought I would write about the unsaid, untold, never mentioned, 11th commandment.
Thou shalt double text without fear – thou shalt not be ignored.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Let him text first”. “Don’t look so keen”. “That’s not a very ladylike thing to do” but neither is downing a pint of vodka coke, but I do that as well.
I’ve developed this habit in which I send drunk texts, often by the dozen, and then I delete them so sober Eliza doesn’t know what drunk Eliza sent and therefore cannot tell her off. Drunk me is a sneaky genius, something which sober me doesn’t enjoy. And then the onslaught of hangover depression gets to me and I’m often found feeling regretful wrapped in a duvet with something carby.
But why is it such a big deal? It’s like ‘hey, I’m inihbriated and thinking about you’. Why is that such an insult?
Okay, I may be waking you up. Okay you may have work tomorrow. Okay you may not even want to talk to me and it may have been months since we even got together but still – you have to reply. It’s the law. My own made up law, but still one you must abide.
I was going to include a screenshot of some hugely tragic, recent drunk texts but I’ve decided I won’t put myself through that embarrassment so publicly. Instead, I’ll save it in an archive of text messages between me and the receiver. The above picture is actually some drunk texts I sent the DJ in the local bar. I like Justin Bieber – can you tell?
But my love for Bieber post-puberty is besides the point. I’m at that point where I know I should start to shape up a little, drink less jaegerbombs and maybe leave my phone at home on a night out as a preemptive procedure so I can avoid the hangover regrets that have become common place in my Sundays.
And then, on the other hand, I don’t actually care. What’s a few extra texts here and there. At the end of the day, a gals gotta do what a gals gotta do. If you need to send that fifth consecutive text, then I believe your reasons are valid and I fully approve.